This Is How My Brain Goes.

When I'm working in a group, or with other people, I am very open minded to collaboration, and subsequently, accountability. Some of the best creative results come from multiple voices - however, when I'm working alone on something, I regularly balk the norm and instead like to do things my way*.

*See, most people would have put quotes, or in conversation, air quotes around the words: my way. Not me. I like italics. Because I can, because this is my blog. About me.

So I was standing in the shower, thinking about all the things I like to do my way. Like this blog, for example - the title is an ass mess of html. But I did it. Me. My website? Also an ass mess of code (though less so, as I finally conceded to allowing a friend to help work on it because I couldn't even get it 50% close to what I wanted it to be - my way will never win out over my predilection to sheer laziness).

Writing is another thing I like to do my way - though, I expect most writers do the same. I never like to approach two projects the same way. Most ideas gestate in my brain for an absurd length of time (for example, my show was an idea eight years* in the making). Sometimes, I feel that a story is a bit like a bottle of wine. It's better with age. But some ideas get hammered out in a matter of days, hours, minutes. Sometimes, you need to just go.

*Dear Would-be Colleagues and Showrunners: please disregard the above statement should you ever be in a position to consider me for hire. I can produce an outline/episode in less than a week. Again, see my first paragraph. But when I'm working completely alone and unaccountable, show and steady. Hah! I meant slow. But I like that, so I'll leave it.

One of my favorite childhood books was Leo the Late Bloomer. I'm not certain why it lists the publishing date as 1994 - I read it when I was five, not fifteen. I like Leo. He doesn't rush - he takes his time. He doesn't give a shit about what the other tigers think. I'd like to share a drink with him.

Now I'm really rambling. This makes my last entry look like a lie.

I suppose what I'm getting at, in a rather roundabout fashion, is that in order to move things forward a little faster I'm going to have to pretend that I have other people to answer to. Because if the show doesn't go, I'm not waiting another eight years. I just don't have that kind of time.

Perhaps I need more accountability fire under my ass?

Or a better excuse.